I Was Born in Barack-tober

Phase I: A Tenative Decision

For awhile, I didn't know who I was going to vote for. I voted for Kucinich in the 2004 primary, but this time I knew I had to vote for someone with a chance of winning the Primary and the General, i.e. Hills, Barry, or Johnny. Also, that dashing liberal sprite dropped out. At first I thought I was going to vote for Hillary. She made a strong showing in the early debates, and had detailed plans for everything from health care to troop withdrawl in Iraq. Hillary gave you the feeling that you didn't want to fuck with her, and that's a quality I appreciate in a woman. I thought to myself, I'd love to see Hills in a cage fight with Dick Cheney; she'd totally decapitate him! Furthermore, I was upset with Obama for running in 2008 without even a full term in the Senate. I really loved Obama, but I thought a Presidential run was just too soon. I was fearful that he was too nice, and the GOP would skewer him. I thought I had decided on Hillary, but I still felt a little unsettled.

Phase II: A Realization

Over Christmas break my Dad and sisters revealed that they were all voting Obama. By this point I was of the opinion that I was maybe voting for Hillary/I had to do more research/I didn't know that she could win the General. Iowa Caucaus night, I was over at Sarah's watching the returns. Over break, her family had attended an Obama event in Iowa and they were all voting for him--even her Dad who had voted for Bush in 2004. Obama had winked at Eleni! Obama's speech on Iowa Caucaus night gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. He touched a part of my soul. It was then that I realized that the part of me that was cynical, sarcastic, and believed that life was shit, wanted to vote for Hillary because I knew she knew how to fight dirty, was a little corrupt, and was well armed to fight the vast right-wing conspiracy. The Hillary part of me is the part that shoots my mouth off, and urinates on the the GOP elephant. However, when I heard Obama's Iowa speech, it stirred that part of me tht still belives in the hearts of men. The part that cries during Oprah, and canvassed for Tim Johnson in the bitter South Dakota snow during the 2002 election with the hope that the Democrats could hold the Senate. It touched the part of me that knows you can win more bees with honey. Obama touched me in my vulnerable spot, and dared me to dream. Iowa Caucaus night I knew I was voting for Obama, but I was still a tinge hesitant. It was like taking a leap of faith for me. Follow your heart and whatnot. It was like Indiana Jones walking across the invisible bridge in the Last Crusade, or Wendy taking Peter Pan's hand off to Never-Never Land.

Phase III: Excitement, Hope, and Pride

At this point, I knew I was voting Obama, but I was feeling a little sad for Hillary. When she won New Hampshire, I was okay with it, because the media was writing her off as a has-been, which wasn't fair. I wanted her to get a win. However, when she won Nevada, me-no-likee, and that was around the time Bill Clinton started shooting his mouth off. By last week, I was pissed. It was clear that Hill's campaign was engaging in campaign tactics that are, bottom line, bad for the party. It wasn't cool, and the racial comments, although subtle, were there. I felt hurt and disappointed. These weren't the Clintons I knew. There were a slew of Editorials in the NYT that sealed the deal for me. They perfectly articulate what I had been festering over; they found words for everything I had been feeling:

Kristoff on January 20
With all the sniping from the Clinton camp about whether Barack Obama has enough experience to make a strong president, consider another presidential candidate who was far more of a novice. He had the gall to run for president even though he had served a single undistinguished term in the House of Representatives, before being hounded back to his district.

That was Abraham Lincoln.

Frank Rich on January 22
In the wake of George W. Bush, even a miracle might not be enough for the Republicans to hold on to the White House in 2008. But what about two miracles? The new year’s twin resurrections of Bill Clinton and John McCain, should they not evaporate, at last give the G.O.P. a highly plausible route to victory.

Maureen Dowd on January 23
If Bill Clinton has to trash his legacy to protect his legacy, so be it. If he has to put a dagger through the heart of hope to give Hillary hope, so be it.
It’s odd that the first woman with a shot at becoming president is so openly dependent on her husband to drag her over the finish line. She handed over South Carolina to him, knowing that her support here is largely derivative.

Gail Collins on January 24
Now, Bill’s role as Chief Attack Dog undermines all that. If he’s all over her campaign, he’s going to be all over her administration. Instead of the original promise of the thoroughly educated Hillary, we’re being offered the worst-case scenario — that the pair of them are going to return to Pennsylvania Avenue and recreate the old Clinton chaos. A lot of people are O.K. with that. (After all, we’ve lived for seven years with a disciplined Oval Office that runs like clockwork while it spreads chaos everywhere else.) Only it’s not change, it’s not a breakthrough moment in American history. It’s just a nervous decision that we’d rather go back than risk going forward.

On January 26 Bob Herbert provides examples of Clinton supporters dropping poorly veiled loaded comments about Obama.

Wonkette on South Carolina Primary Night (January 26)
What we haven’t mentioned tonight, because things went so fast that we had no time for our usual dozen smart-ass blog posts before the first projections are dropped on the cable news channel, is that Bill Clinton may well have just blown it for his wife (and for him). Bill brushed off Barry’s HUGE win by saying, “Yeah, well Jesse Jackson won South Carolina, too.” (That’s not the exact quote, but it’s close.)

My vote is for Obama, and I feel great about it. The Clintons are scared and they're turning nasty. It doesn't hurt Obama; it hurts the party. Especially since Obama has a better chance of winning the general election than Hillary does (he pulls in the youth and the independents). If Hill gets the nomination she better fucking win the goddamn general election. If she pulls a Kerry, she and Bill will have fucked the country royally. Really it all dates back to his dick. Yes, there was a vast right wing conspiracy, but the BJ business just made it easier for the GOP.

I'm not going to bash Hillary, because it's not like that. It's about positivity and daring to dream again. It's about Obama.

I was really glad to see the Ted Kennedy endorsement; his roaring speech made me proud. I also liked the eloquent Toni Morrison endorsement today. At the end of the day endorsements don't mean much--afterall it's your vote. However, I do love to see people getting involved and speaking up from a place of hope and passion. That's the true sentiment behind an endorsement and I've seen so many of those for Obama. This is mine.

I think I'll volunteer for the campaign, if not by making calls this weekend before Super Duper Tuesday, then definitely during the General. This candidate is special. I want him to win California, and I've got a Primary Fever!